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I’m pretty sure I’m Autistic and ADHD or AuDHD as it is often referred to.
Autism and ADHD doesn't always look like you think it does
I’ve long felt that openness about our struggles serves some important purposes.
1. It can help others to get help for their struggles
I’ve been open with many people about my struggles with depression and anxiety. I’ve had many people tell me that this has helped them realize their own struggles and also given them permission to seek help for it.
2. It can help overcome stigmas and stereotypes
Telling people that I have had struggles with anxiety can help people realize that you aren’t “weak” for having anxiety. Sometimes the only way to help people overcome their stereotypes, biases, and stigmas is for them to know someone who is in a group that they have stereotypes about. Autism and ADHD can look like a lot of different things and sometimes not look like anything at all.
After spending a lot of time for the last few months studying the conditions, being introspective on my own life, remembering my experiences, asking people who know me, and talking to people who have the condition I have come to think that I’m most definitely AuDHD.
I’ll mention some but not all of the reasons I have come to this conclusion.
1. We’ve become much more aware of neurodivergence in our family over the last year. While my oldest daughter was diagnosed years ago. My fourth child Emmeline was recently diagnosed with ADHD. My fifth child is showing more signs of autism since entering the more challenging environment of middle school. It’s not uncommon that with this much Neurodivergence it comes from a parent in and many cases more from the Father. See Link Here
This has made me start to look more at myself
2. My Autistic daughter shared the chart shown below with me several months ago. This chart has been on my mind for several months and I have highlighted everything that fits with the way my brain works. As you can see it’s pretty filled. The OCD aspects of the chart I am not currently experiencing but I have gone through periods especially in my childhood and young adulthood where it was a serious concern. As you can see from the chart there are many aspects and explaining why each one fits with me would take a much longer post.
3. Coming to this realization has been like the twist in sixth sense where Bruce Willis realizes he’s been dead the whole time. He looks back and sees all the evidence that has been there but hasn’t seen. So much of things in my life make sense with this piece of information. It’s like a missing piece to a puzzle. It explains so much of myself and my struggles
4. I didn’t realize this because there are parts of me that don’t fit the stereotype but I’ve come to realize what is often common about Neurodivergents especially after talking to many of them. One of my special interests is studying people and being a people watcher. I’ve become really good at reading people which goes against the stereotype. I have since come to realize that many Neurodivergents do this as a way to fit in (mask) and many have a strong interest in human psychology. I tend to be hyper empathic which goes against stereotypes as well but turns out is quite normally part of it. see link here
As far as going for an official diagnosis I’m still trying to figure out the pros and cons of that as well as analyzing the resources around me to decide how I want to go forward.
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In this video I share some of my own personal experiences in masking my own autism (even from myself)
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