Why Acceptance is so Healing

Q: Why all of the sudden do you feel like you are autistic?

A: It's not really "all of the sudden" and it's not really because of some trend. I've been having health problems all of my life. I've been exhausted, depressed, rejected, and misunderstood for much of my life. I have sought virtually every other road and explanation as to what is going on with my life. I wondered if I had chronic fatigue syndrome, or depression, or blood problems, etc. All of them came back as negative.

As more research on Autism is done, we start to understand more and more who it affects. With my daughter being autistic and with the research that it is heavily genetic, I realized that there is a chance of my having it also. I started talking to more and more recently diagnosed people and found out that my symptoms all match perfectly with Autism, and in particular, one aspect of it called Autistic Burnout. I found that I fit it perfectly so I sought out a diagnosis and received one.

Q: Why do you feel you need the "label"?

A: The label is not unlike the label of diabetes. It describes a condition I have in a simple and easy-to-understand way, and it also helps me know what I can do to help increase my health.

After wondering my whole life why I seemed to struggle with everything more compared to my friends and family, this offered a valid explanation that was much better than me being weaker or broken. (this is what most of us have been telling ourselves for most of our lives)

This is why denying our diagnosis is hurtful, it pushes us back to the mindset that we are just broken or weaker. (Look up the zebra vs failed horse analogy.)

Also, having the diagnosis makes it easier to ask for accommodations at work, which I have had to do.

Q: Aren't they just handing out diagnoses like candy anyway?

A: No, it was a difficult and expensive process. Most places didn't even consider that adults should be able to access assessment. My insurance thought it was weird that I was asking. When I found experts to do this, I went through hours of assessment with them.

Many people may not ever have access to this, so I accept people who are not professionally diagnosed.

Check out more about my diagnosis here

Q: You don't look autistic to me:

A: That's because I put forth a major amount of effort to appear normal. This is called masking. I learned it from the very beginning to try and fit in. I'm trying to unlearn it now because it causes major health problems called Autistic Burnout. See my post on that effort here:

Check out what I'm talking about here: 

To end things up. When I first told family and friends I had a wide range of reception from people being very accepting to people shutting it down without any questions. I still run into this from time to time. I wrote a letter to family and friends to explain why this is important to me. This was before my formal diagnosis here